I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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