if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
