does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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