I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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