I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
