piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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