Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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