some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
