when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
