I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
