sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Little spoons don't ask big questions
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
