you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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