She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
