You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
