Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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