have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
