i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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