I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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