her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
