TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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