What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
