sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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