i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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