would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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