At least make sure they are 18
Why
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
