Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
