i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
