Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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