My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
