I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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