To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I woke up under a house in Key West
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
