Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pants are for mortals
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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