yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can you bring me the toilet please
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
