you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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