I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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