New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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