He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
