there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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