We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
