So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
