thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
