I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
