Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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