u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
