The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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