Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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