I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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