you turned your livingroom into a bong?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
