We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
