haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
