so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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