chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
