i barfeds in our rink
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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