Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's great music for shaving your balls
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
